I was featured in an article that really resonated with me, and I thought I’d share some insights from it. The piece, titled How to Win an Argument, although it’s a few years old, its advice on handling disagreements—especially in business—feels just as relevant today.
The gist of the article is this: winning an argument isn’t necessarily about proving you’re right. It’s more about achieving a positive outcome. This idea got me thinking about the way I handle conflicts in my own business dealings, for example, with my battle with NRMA over intellectual property, and I found some useful strategies to add to my toolkit. Here’s what I learned:
1. Listen to the Other Side:This one’s easy to overlook, especially when you’re passionate about your stance. Instead of just pushing my viewpoint, I’ve found that genuinely listening to the other person’s perspective can make a huge difference. By asking questions and addressing any misunderstandings, I can better understand where they’re coming from—and sometimes, that’s half the battle.
2. Explain Your Logic:Once I’ve heard the other side, it’s my turn to lay out my thinking clearly. The article suggests breaking down your reasoning step-by-step and seeking agreement at each stage. It’s about connecting the dots between the facts and your conclusions, making it easier for the other person to follow your line of thought.
3. Define What “Winning” Really Means:I’ve realised that “winning” can take on different meanings depending on the situation. In some cases, I might just want to secure a favourable outcome. Other times, I need to prioritise the relationship over being “right.” This approach has helped me keep the bigger picture in mind, especially when dealing with clients or partners.
4. Adapt Your Strategy:People are unique, and so are their responses to disagreements. The article advises adapting your approach based on who you’re dealing with. Whether it’s using altruism, offering something in return, or just giving a straightforward explanation, tailoring your strategy can help keep things constructive.
5. Change Your Communication Style:Lastly, I’ve started mirroring the other person’s style to build rapport. If they’re formal, I match their tone; if they’re more casual, I go with that. It’s about creating a sense of comfort and understanding, which can help smooth things over.
The article even referenced an anecdote about me—yes, yours truly—navigating a public disagreement with a local mayor over my parking business. By sticking to these principles, standing my ground, and showing respect, I was able to handle the situation effectively.
In the end, it’s not just about being “right.” By focusing on understanding, communication, and adaptability, we can turn potential conflicts into opportunities for growth and connection. Whether it’s in business or personal life, I’m finding these strategies incredibly valuable, and I hope you do too!
